In my experience, it's never the correct time to add our point to a group conversation, unless we are somehow in a high hierarchical position through some organizational structure, or it's a group of autistics.

In a casual friendship, or with a group of colleagues of equal organizational standing, autistic people (in my experience) will never have that right moment because that moment is given to each member of the group by the collective behavior of everyone else on that group depending on the social hierarchy that is invisible to us but very tangible to NT people.

We are never given that moment because we are not seen as an individual who's a part of that group and its inherent social hierarchy. We are human in the technical sense to their brains but one who doesn't operate with the same software so might as well be invisible.

If you somehow, through a glitch in the matrix, manage to put a word in without being demanding or asserting, it will still not go over well because your tone of voice, body language, cadence, word choices, the order with which you make eye contact with each member of the group (or failing to do any eye contact whatsoever) will not carry the necessary information for NT people to assess what you're saying within the social structure of the group, thus assign it weight and importance.

At least, this is my interpretation of the reasons why this particular disconnect happens between autistic and NT people.

@actuallyautistic