Discussion
The woman in front of me, turned around and shouted "Both of you shut up!"
Everyone was of course shocked.
I said, "Umm.. no, I'm not going to 'shut up.' I'm going to take my place in line. This doesn't even concern you. Why are you involved?"
At this point she said, "You're threatening me! I feel intimidated!"
Audible gasps from white crowd
cringe wince from front desk staff
A few guests said, "Is she serious right now?"
She leans in to front desk staff and calls security on
me.
Sometimes people really are intimidated by me. I'm a big dude! Trust me when I tell you that those folk act very differently.
This woman was not intimidated.
She wanted to use situational power to tell me to shut up, and the threat of force to get me kicked out of the hotel or subjected to physical violence.
She was genuinely surprised that most of the white folk that saw this interaction were appaled and disgusted by her actions. She was confused that she couldn't weaponize hotel security.
Sometimes people really are intimidated by me. I'm a big dude! Trust me when I tell you that those folk act very differently.
This woman was not intimidated.
She wanted to use situational power to tell me to shut up, and the threat of force to get me kicked out of the hotel or subjected to physical violence.
She was genuinely surprised that most of the white folk that saw this interaction were appaled and disgusted by her actions. She was confused that she couldn't weaponize hotel security.
Sometimes people really are intimidated by me. I'm a big dude! Trust me when I tell you that those folk act very differently.
This woman was not intimidated.
She wanted to use situational power to tell me to shut up, and the threat of force to get me kicked out of the hotel or subjected to physical violence.
She was genuinely surprised that most of the white folk that saw this interaction were appaled and disgusted by her actions. She was confused that she couldn't weaponize hotel security.
Giant Black man in the US decision tree
1) OK, this white man just accidentally cut in front of me. Should I even say anything? Or let it slide?
2) OK, I said something. Now he seems very angry! He thinks I am cutting him in line! Should I say anything? Or let it slide?
3) OK, Karen just yelled at both of us to "Shut up" Should I just shut up?
4) OK, she called security on me. Should I stick around? Or is the smart move to leave now?
Answers to questions are governed by my situational power
Just to maintain sanity, the answer is almost always "let it slide." 🤷🏿♂️
Has to be.
Sometimes people really are intimidated by me. I'm a big dude! Trust me when I tell you that those folk act very differently.
This woman was not intimidated.
She wanted to use situational power to tell me to shut up, and the threat of force to get me kicked out of the hotel or subjected to physical violence.
She was genuinely surprised that most of the white folk that saw this interaction were appaled and disgusted by her actions. She was confused that she couldn't weaponize hotel security.
Security shows up, and she says that I'm intimidating her, standing too close to her, shouting at her, etc.
Security listened patiently to her story, and the other guests told what really happened.♥️
Security says, "Ma'am. We have security cameras and I saw everything that happened. What you said is not accurate. And...you initiated verbal contact with him? I'm not kicking him out, I'm not kicking you out, and I'm not kicking the other guest out. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
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Security shows up, and she says that I'm intimidating her, standing too close to her, shouting at her, etc.
Security listened patiently to her story, and the other guests told what really happened.♥️
Security says, "Ma'am. We have security cameras and I saw everything that happened. What you said is not accurate. And...you initiated verbal contact with him? I'm not kicking him out, I'm not kicking you out, and I'm not kicking the other guest out. Is there anything else I can help you with?"